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Thursday, 20 April 2017

drips of change



sometimes I seem on top of things , even ahead & then others I have those ah ha moments when I think " oh yeah , why am I just seeing this now "
Like Spring , hey well it is MB after all , perhaps my character is most like spring .Slow to start , jumping ahead , then regressing into full blown winter yet again .
my ah ha moment is realization coming upon reflection of change .
The joys the pains the slow & the just like that . all movement  in fact even within perhaps our own stillness change comes does it not .
a thought is like a breeze appearing & shaking a leaf ever so gently .
age is a huge changer .even our animals , our dogs exhibit change with age .
Our big old maple is changing , is passing , is dying . yet she drips on .
Cleansing drips . shedding . yet having new blood flow .
I think of the Cedar dripping this time of year . The experience of harvesting Cedar while Drops of water fall & wash . I am allergic to Cedar yet this wash does not bother me . It is one of the first cleansings of spring , so pure , it awakens me .
As I age in grandmotherhood this is change of evolution
I am at the point in life where I am now aware it will be my turn next .
My parents generation the ones who have made it to elderlyhood are going , moving on , leaving the here & now .
Watching my mother she changes as quickly in her aging as the first year after birth .
Her movement is ever so slow .
I have the thought now " I don't want my mum to die " & cry when this thought enters .
Before it was a known that yes your parent will pass on , at some point .
Now it is true , it is in my face real .
So I feel a rush to catch up with my mother , in regards to collecting information , in regards to spending time with her .
I also feel the need of great slowness.
 When in her presense to be slow with my ears , with my speach , with my eyes .
To really take it all in one must slow down .
So I am slowing , even more so than before .
hugging grandchildren , some yet to come & those growing ever so quickly the number teen will be entering very soon .
My reflection is showing me , tone down on social media .
Begin to write again .
Record & teach .
It is in this I am making change .
Our lives are changing as well as a unit , as a family .
Our business ventuire is in early stage .
I am preparing with a small group of women to create a lodge .
Our homestead business will help us get our dwelling up & I am more seeing as we walk with the land we will add to have families come who wish to learn as we have learned .
I don't know if this will be inner city families like us who wish to return to homeland or refugee families who came from rural areas & are now stuck in the city .It does not matter the where , if they wish to learn & experience I feel we are to pass it on once we have learned . That is true sharing & giving .
 The lodge . yes a huge ah ha moment .
a womb of willow . imagine that .
Ha ! traditionally a lodge especially for women is constructed of willow .
I had to laugh at myself . time needed to allow me to have many drips of change for that to come . for it to sink in .
So I am continuing this blog , this space for myself . For to express & share in the women's lodge .
The things which pass through my mind .
My folk practices & magical musings .
I may sell items for magical use , smudges etc.
However the actual business will be a new website for our homestead where we will offer product from the boreal & I can write about our setbacks & progress on the homestead . Offering workshops , cabins etc.
This is where I am now in my evolution
The drips have been dropping faster , yet it being only mid-late April I need to be aware a huge back step winter storm may appear at any moment .
So while the drips are fast, new blood flowing  & cleansing I am stepping gently & being kind to myself .
My true slow self in spirit , breath .........
amen



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